Handfasting Was Once a Ceremony for a 1-Year Marriage Trial

2024-08-07

Today, handfasting is steadily becoming a common wedding custom where a cord or ribbon is tied around the hands of the bride and groom. Later in history, it was commonly used as a term for a clandestine marriage, and some sources say that later than that, it was more of a trial marriage.

Essentially, a couple who was handfasted entered a trail marriage which lasted a year and a day. If, at the end of that time, they decided it was not working out, they could both decide to not make the marriage permanent.

If the wife found herself pregnant, the child would not be seen as legitimate, but would be taken care of by the father. ¹

While all this might sound silly, to Scotland, it was a way to ensure a happy marriage. After all, it was a way to test to see on if you could actually stand being married to someone for life.

Sometimes, whole lineups of couples would be married at fairs or festivals.

According to tradition , a spot at the junction of waters known as the Black and White Esk , was remarkable in former times for an annual fair which had been held there from time im memorial , but which exists no longer . At that fair it was customary for the unmarried of both sexes to choose a companion , according to their fancy , with whom to live till that time next year . This was called handfasting , or hand – in – fist . If the parties remained pleased with each other at the expiry of the term of probation , they remained together for life ; if not , they separated , and were free to provide themselves with another partner .

Old Scottish Customs, Local and General by Ellen Emma Guthrie 1885

There is a common assumption that it was only the common-class people who entered these trail marriages, but some of the wealthy or high-ranking did as well.

This “ on trial ” marriage system seems to have been the fashion with ladies of high degree as well as with the Eskdale lasses and lads .

Lindsay says That James , sixth Earl of Murray , had a son by Isabel Innes , daughter of the Laird of Innes , Alexander Dun bar , a man of singular wit and courage . This Isabel was but handfasted to him and deceased before the marriage . ”

Folk Lore in Lowland Scotland by Evelyn Blantyre Simpson (1908)

It was not, however, seen as acceptable to the whole of Scotland, and eventually met it’s end at the hands of the church.

Hand – fasting was deemed a social irregularity by the Reformers , and they strove by every means to repress it . In 1562 , the Kirk – Session of Aberdeen decreed that all hand – fasted persons should be married . With the exception of the Highland districts , the time – honoured practice of living together for ‘ ” a year and a day ” ceased to exist shortly after the Reformation

Old Scottish Customs, Local and General by Ellen Emma Guthrie 1885

Luckily, the ceremony found a way to survive as people incorporated it into actual(non-trail) marriages.

Supposedly, it is from this ceremony that the saying “tying the knot” comes from in regards to marriage.

Citations

1

Mr. Guthrie , in Old Scottish Customs , says , “ If either of the parties insisted on a separation and a child was born during the year of trial , it was to be taken care of by the father only , and to be ranked among his lawful children next after his heirs . The off spring was not treated as illegitimate , because the custom was justified being such and in stituted with a view of making way for a happy , peaceful marriage .

Folk Lore in Lowland Scotland by Evelyn Blantyre Simpson (1908)

Historic Audio Recordings

• (link) Farm workers’ contracts; the tradition of informal marriage surviving amongst Travellers